Eye Test

Chinese eye test
THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!

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If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling

the corner of your eyes as if you were Chinese.
It works

Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Bath Tub Test

This is a test!!
During a visit to the mental hospital, a visitor asked the Director how do
you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to
empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you
want a bed near the window?"

ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?
Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Nudist Colony

Nudist Colony

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his First day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around.

A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, smiles as she passes and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices

his erection, comes Over to him and says, "Did you call for me?" The man replies "No, what do you mean?"

She says, "You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection it implies you called for me."

Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel and happily lets him have his way with her.

The man happily continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts.

Within seconds, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him.

Did you call for me?" says the hairy man.

"No..... what do you mean?" says the newcomer.

"You must be new," says the hairy man, "It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me."

The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.

The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist,

"May I help you?" she says.

The man yells, "Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $3200 membership fee."

"But sir," she replies, "You've only been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities."

"Listen lady," replies the man..........I'm 68 years old...........I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day!

I'm outta here!!"


Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Music from my youth, Candybar Express

I lost my copy of this LP :(

Candybar Express by Love and Money


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Inflight satefy?

What the inflight safety cartoons really mean.
http://www.airtoons.com/toons.php?toon=1

Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Did they have their pilot's license?

Airplane accidents, picture of various airplane mishaps
http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2007/11/airplane-oops-situations.html


Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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All about chavs

What's the difference between a chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins?
Society.

What does a chav girl use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter.

What do you call a 30 year old chav girl?
Granny.

What do you call a chav in a box?
Innit.

What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted.

What do you say to a chav in a suit
"Will the defendant please rise"

Why did the chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason what so ever.

What do you call a chav girl in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

If you see a chav on a bike why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.

What's the first question during a chav quiz night?
What you looking at.

Why are chavs like slinkey's?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight
of stairs

Two chavs in a car without any music, who's driving?
The policeman!

What do you call a hundred chavs at the bottom of the river?
A start.

Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a nova a shame?
Because a nova has 4 seats.

What do you call a chav with 9 gcse's?
A liar.

What do you say to a chav with a job?
Bigmac please.


Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Humorous Animal Pictures

Humorous Animal Pictures
http://www.all-creatures.org/humor/humorous.html

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Music from my youth, The Sweet bird of truth


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y64S4hzcejk




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Chaos Ball Advert


The Chaos Ball !!!!!! - Awesome video clips here

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Getting fat....




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Internet Addiction?

When you know you've got an internet addiction.
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Stupid body kit

Seems a bit of a design mistake.
http://kapsi.fi/~anpurola/stupid/index.php?img=24

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Funny Cat Pictures

Some amusing cat pictures.

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Lion Hug

THIS WOMAN IN THE VIDEO FOUND THIS LION INJURED IN THE FOREST READY TO DIE.
SHE TOOK THE LION WITH HER AND NURSED THE LION BACK TO HEALTH. WHEN THE
LION WAS BETTER SHE MADE ARRANGEMENTS WITH A ZOO TO TAKE THE LION AND GIVE
IT A NEW AND HAPPY HOME.

THIS VIDEO WAS TAKEN WHEN THE WOMAN AFTER SOME TIME WENT TO GO VISIT THE
LION TO SEE HOW HE WAS DOING.
WATCH THE LION'S REACTION WHEN HE SEES HER. AMAZING!!!!!


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New national holiday, NSFW

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

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Computer Upgrades

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My Pictures for sale