Dry_Fire and other Free Internet games @ CrazyMonkeyGames.com

Dry Fire is a online flash shooting game, where you take the role of a big-ass gun, and you try to mow down all attackers. You get attacked by men on the ground, as well as having bombs dropped from the air.

Dry_Fire and other Free Internet games @ CrazyMonkeyGames.com

Five Free Games for Geeks

Games from independent developers

Five Free Games for Geeks

Mood Killer



Better having black underwear!




Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Blast from the past : Simple Minds

I continue to relive my music past, all the songs from your teenage years are always the best.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFIMJxV2tjI





Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Hard day at the office?


When things go bad at work you can always rebel?



Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Bill Gates vs General motors

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."



In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Doctor Dave

Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:

Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering:


Dave...............................

Dave...........




You're a Veterinarian, you sick bastard!


Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Nuclear Eagle




Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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How to tell the sex of a fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked."How can you tell them apart?"

He responded,"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."


Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Shapeshifters, Pusher

I like the Alien style video to this :)



Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Circlo

Circlo is a fun and kid-friendly online flash puzzle game that involves moving around a core of colored balls, and carefully shooting more colored balls into the group. You don't get to choose the color of the next ball you get to fire, and since creating groupings of three or more balls of the same color causes the balls to fall free from the group, this makes for a challenging little brain puzzle.
Link

Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Africa from the air

Some amazing pictures of Africa
http://tinyurl.com/23vrrg

Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery
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Make your hamster comfy

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Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery

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Its hard being the man in a relationship

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Shot at 2007-07-05
We've all been there.....
Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery

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A cat called lucky



I want to come back as this cat in my next life.


Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery


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Glasgow airport attack

If this had happened in a US airport, compared to Glasgow

Eyewitness accounts.

America:"Oh my God! There was a man on fire, he was running about, I just ran for my life. I thought I was gonna die, he got so close to me"

Glasgow "C*nt wis running aboot on fire, so a ran up n gave him a good boot, then decked him"

America:" I just wanna get home, away from here. I just wanna get home, I thought I was gonna die"

Glasgow:" Here Shug, am no leaving here till am oan a f*ckin' plane!"

America:" there was pandemonium, people were running in all directions, we didn't know what was happening thought I was gonna die"

Glasgow:"F*ck this fir a kerry oan; moan we'll get a pint in"

America:" We thought he was gonna blow us all up he had a gas canister, and was trying to get into his trunk, I thought we were gonna die, I Just ran for my life"

Glasgow:"a swaggered by the motor that wis on fire, and the dafty couldnae even open his boot, he wis in fire annaw so a ran up n gave him a good boot to the baws"

America: there was this huge explosion, it sounded like war, I thought was gonna die"

Glasgow:" There wis a bang, yi know when yi throw 80 Bangers intae a fire it, wis like that"

America:" I'm too traumatized even to speak, I thought I was gonna die"

Glasgow "here mate, gies 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear, if am gonna be oan the telly a want her tae tape it"


Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery

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Brave or stupid pussy

Brave (or stupid?) Cat Yes, I know cats eat birds, but come on.


Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery

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WISDOM - FROM THE MILITARY


"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

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"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

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"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. - U.S. Marine Corps

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"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - USAF Ammo Troop

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"If the enemy is in range!, so are you." - Infantry Journal

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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual

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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General Macarthur

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"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal

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"You, you, and you .. Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

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"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance

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"Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal

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"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything." - U.S. Navy Swabbie

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"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - David Hackworth

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"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal

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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay

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"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."

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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Marine Recruit

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"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies

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"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." - USAF Ammo Troop

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"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan

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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)

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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

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"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines
in the sky." - From an old carrier sailor

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"If the wings are travelling faster than the fuselage,
it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."

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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

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"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club."

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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, ... The pilot dies."
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"Never trade luck for skill."
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The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:
"Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" And "Oh S...!"

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"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant."

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"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."

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"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication."

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"I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous."

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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"

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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground
incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."

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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." -
Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970

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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."

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"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."

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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the
crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?".
The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)


Doodle's Dawdle by Alastair Montgomery

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My Pictures for sale